consumer price index

Knowing that most of you, like myself (or even love myself), are cheap ass bastards interested more in dollar drafts than art openings (no offense, Camy), I thought I'd give you the skinny on the low cost of low living south of the border (with Uruguay). All prices are in U$D, which isn't actually worth anything any more anywhere anyway - except here maybe:

these steaks I've been eating (depending on cut and whether or not the restaurant has a ceiling): $2 - $7

three-course lunch including wine at my local: less than $5

beer (1 liter): store = less than $1, restaurant $2 - $3, club $3 - $4
- been drinking way too much of the stuff 'cause it's so damn hot

bottle of really good wine: less than $3
- been drinking way too much of the stuff 'cause it's so damn good

cafe con leche: $.50 - $1.50

Marlboro Red (16): less than $1, (20): a little more than $1
- I smoke the slim&trim line o' 16s, they fit more stylishly in the pocket

SMS on a pre-paid card: $.02 / local call: I don't know; I still have $4 left on my $6 credit, including international

laundry (wash, dry and fold - same day service): about $2 per load
- I go through more costume changes in a day than Stevie Nicks at the Garden

bus ticket: $.25

taxi across town: $4

haircut: less than $3

25g herbal tea: $30

my rent: $450

dream house in my hood $120 000

the great steak contest

Day six, steak six. Guess how many steaks I'll eat during my entire stay and win a thick and juicy Argentinian beefsteak!

The nearest steak guesser will win a steak, but if you hit the cow on the head, you'll also receive a bottle of fine Malbec. Send your entries to contest@xeno.cz by Thursday, February 1st at the latest.

Some things to keep in mind:

1. I won't look at the entries until my departure on March 11th, whence I will be eating my last, or maybe final two, thick, juicy steaks before returning with your prize;


2. I've had an average of one steak per day since I arrived. This does not include the steak on the plane, but does include the large steak sandwich I had at the food court of the mall on Thursday;


3. Argentinian cuisine can be more varied than Spanish, French, and Italian cuisines combined ('cause that's kinda what it is, and then some), so I'll probably be tempted to eat something else: e.g. no steaks yesterday, just a sausage sandwich and a hamburger... and a pizza;


4. That said, you know how I like my steaks;


5. Hamburgers (or any other carnal integrity defamation of bovine flesh) obviously don't count, no matter how good it tastes and despite their size; Pork products certainly do not count; Any mixed meat style skewers do not count;


6. Steaks smaller than 150 grams obviously don't count; Steaks up to 100 kilograms will still count as a single steak; If I start eating such large steaks, I will probably not be able to return owing to IATA weight restrictions and the contest, for obvious reasons, will be considered null and void;


7. With the exception of fat, grizzle and bone, any unfinished steaks do not count, although I tend to eat those bits anyway;


8. If US customs, as is their wont and want, steal my steaks, (under the guise of current regulations concerning alleged water content or just simple hunger, greed or power trip) you will be treated to a smazeny syr on Narodni; I'll be really pissed off and will drink my wine with the homeless while you eat your cheese;


9. All steaks consumed within the Republic of Argentina, the Republic of Chile, and the Federation of Brazil, as well as their respective territories, count;


10. Residents of the aforementioned countries are not eligible for this contest, sorry;


11. To avoid any pursuant legal action, vegetarians are, sadly, eligible;


12. The contest is void where contests involving meat are prohibited;


13. The steak counter will be updated with each blog published after the contest deadline;


14. I plan to eat a steak within the next hour.

So enter now and win a steak! contest@xeno.cz

My mobile number here is: +54 115 013 0235 .

Big Steak = Big Love -m

day three

Hey! A lot has happened since I've seen you guys last and I'll try to get to it eventually. This, however, is kinda fresh and probably gives a better indication of my current existence: http://www.clarin.com/diario/2007/01/13/policiales/g-05802.htm

My best (and only) friend in Buenos Aires, a.v., dropped this bomb on me yesterday after I hadn't seen or heard from him in more than two years. The event happened shortly before my arrival and immediately after his father's 70th birthday. I'll summarize for those of you who don't speak Spanish:

"I killed my wife, she called me a 'cuckhold', so I shot her in the head," Dad says.

When the police arrived they found his wife sitting on the toilet with her pants around her ankles and a bullet in her head. In addition to the murder weapon, the police found six other guns, including assault rifles and semi-automatic pistols (all of them legal).

"I got tired of my wife, so I shot and killed her," Dad told the police.

A few days before he shot his wife (38), he told her, "I'm going to kill you, don't spend any more money, I'm going to kill you; on the 28th of December I'll be 70 and they'll just give me house arrest."

Believe it or not, there are, in fact, extenuating circumstances. Here's a snippet of the conversation a.v. and I had regarding the incident:

av: Well, you know, these things happen.

mg: Uh. No they don't. Not really. These things happen on tv and in the paper. Look, see it's in the paper, see...

av: Right, sure.

mg: Your father's in the paper, he's 70, he's not even supposed to be in the paper, not for something like this.

av: Right, sure.

mg: Let's get a drink. I think they might have Czech beer next door.

av: OK.

We're going to try to hit the art museum today. Hope you're all well. love -m.